Kids can SERIOUSLY frustrate us. Especially when they don’t eat. Have you said any of the below words out of frustration?
I have heard them a lot as a child and I have had my fair share of saying things like this.
Getting kids to eat through fear, shame, comparison is really not effective in the long term. In fact, it can create serious problems with eating. Not only that, but it can create serious problems in life, not just eating. In addition, it can have the opposite effect! Kids may become picky on purpose and identify with this behavior.
Comparing and shaming and guilt tripping kids into good behavior can only cause trouble. It is best we do the following:
I hope this was helpful!
To watch the full video, click on this link.
Mirna Sabbagh, an adult and child dietitian, nutritionist, and lactation consultant. She also has several digital courses: Pregnancy Nutrition Course, breastfeeding course, starting solids 6-12 months course, and also the Feed with Confidence course that you can sign up for from the comfort of your home.
The courses are pre-recorded. As soon as you make the course purchase, you will receive a link to watch the course from your phone or laptop.
You can also e-mail Mirna for questions at info@mirnaelsabbagh.com
Mirna is no longer doing consultations. Her online courses cover 95% of parents' common concerns.
]]>But how about YOU?
You, the huge community of normal moms, expatriate moms, and struggling moms.
You, the strong mom who’s raising her baby bravely within a global pandemic, or financial difficulties.
You, the mom that follows me or of any dietician, doctor, psychologist, or life coach to perceive parenting tips.
You, moms who don’t ignore their child’s emotional needs because they’re too busy.
You, all the young criticized moms.
You, the inspirational super mom!
Today, I’m here to thank you for all of your time, effort and sacrifice.
Thank you for your inspirational motherhood.
You are seen, loved, respected, and appreciated
Be your own cheerleader, tap your own back and remind yourself that you are a supreme mom!
You are the seed that’s growing a healthier generation
Share this with your friends to remind them of how amazing they are
To watch my full video, click on this Link.
Mirna Sabbagh, an adult and child dietitian, nutritionist, and lactation consultant. She also has several digital courses: Pregnancy Nutrition Course, breastfeeding course, starting solids 6-12 months course, and also child nutrition for all children including picky eaters, that you can sign up for from the comfort of your home.
The courses are pre-recorded. As soon as you make the course purchase, you will receive a link to watch the course from your phone or laptop.
You can also e-mail Mirna for questions on info@mirnaelsabbagh.com
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This valentine season, and for the first valentine season ever, I am over-joyed. I know, I know that this is so cliché. Valentine is a hallmark holiday. I’ve always said that, as I googled pubs that have anti-valentine themes and a crowd that wants to be as far away from valentine as possible. I’d sing “all the single ladies” and pop red balloons. I’d go on to preach to my friends “This ridiculous holiday is made to trick consumers to buy e-cards, watch crappy movies, and buy expensive jewelry.”
How could I have been so naïve. What a beautiful celebration. Love should be celebrated. There is nothing as beautiful, or as consuming. I never knew love can be so grand. Since I’ve met you, the world is brighter and in Feyrouz’s words, the moon is bigger. This particular season, I love everyone. I love looking at dating couples, newlyweds, babies, mothers, lousy chick flicks. Oh, how I’ve changed. You’ve changed me. I’ve become less rational, and more emotional. I know most guys wouldn’t like that, but you’re so emotional yourself! I’ve become more caring, and more attentive to everyone’s needs. I’ve become more understanding of tantrums. I now understand that men are not what their exterior portrays them to be. Men, at the end of the day, are just like women. You’ve highlighted an excellent point. Men and women were both little crying babies who need love and attention. How is it that we expect men to be different, and women to need more attention?
That’s not the only way you have changed me. I will say it. You made me love myself more. I love who I have become with you. You’ve given me so much confidence and so much more meaning to life. What else? You’ve also introduced me to the pleasure of early mornings, there’s nothing like the morning with you.
I love you. I love you endlessly. I love you even if you keep me up all night worrying if we’re okay, if you’re happy, if I’m giving you everything you need. I love you even if you don’t love me for a single day in your life. But, I know. Even if you don’t say it. I know that you love me just as much, or at-least, as much as you possibly can. I know you love me because of the way you look at me when I enter any room. I know you love me by the way you hug me. I know you love me as you look up into my eyes as you lay on my chest every day.
I’ve never loved so much. Or fell so hard. For the first time, I’m not worried about loving too much or falling too hard. I’m in it and I just don’t care. If I could love you more, I’d do it. It didn’t start like that though.
It wasn’t love at first sight. It wasn’t the sudden chemistry that one would expect given I’m crazy for you now. It was a rough start. I can still remember you screaming constantly, and me just trying to understand, “what do you want? Tell me what to do.” You kept it to yourself, as if you wanted me to figure it out by myself. Communication is key, and ours was definitely not great. You’d make me cry, every-single-night. “Why are you making this so difficult, because of you, I’ve changed everything. I’ve changed my looks, my lifestyle, my mindset and everything just for you. Why? Why can’t you give me any credit?” I don’t know what I wanted. I just wanted something. Anything. Any form of sign that I was on the right track.
Then, you smiled. Exactly 6 weeks and 2 days after I laid my eyes on you the first time. I’ll never forget. I swooned, and I forgot what had passed. Your smile was a sign “you passed, you made it.” That split second changed everything. From that day on, it is as though music plays in the background of my life. I love you, beyond words and beyond comprehension. The jewelry, dates, and flowers will never compare. I know you’re not very expressive, or very romantic, but I think as the years go by you will learn. I will teach you. You will learn to express, and I will hear it. “I love you.” I will hear it from you, and I’m not sure what I would do then.
This Valentine, you’re all mine. I realize though that one of those valentines, you’re probably going to be with a younger more beautiful woman who will give you a completely different type of love.
When that day comes, continue to remember me, even with a call. If I’m not there, also please remember me, because no-one will ever love you as much as I do. One day you’ll love valentine as much as I do this valentine, and you’ll say “that’s what she was talking about.” I hope I’ll be there.
As I look at you, I literally see my heart walking outside my body, then again, you did come from within me, what else would I expect?
If you feel the same, share the love.
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Today is my son’s birthday. My son has turned two. Today is my second birthday as a mother. As a parent. Today marks the end of our “thousand day journey”. The end of the thousand days that supposedly are the most important days in a human being’s entire life. The thousand days that make the foundations to my son’s health. The thousand days where anything he eats or drinks, has an influence on his health and well being as an adult. As I look back at those one thousand days. Day by day. I realize I did well for the most part. I gained weight within the healthy range during pregnancy. The quality of my food during pregnancy was also good. I exclusively breastfed for 6 months and continue to breastfeed. Today marks my 2 years breastfeeding.
Today I look at my 2 year old, and I see the fruit of the effort to be healthy. He is a healthy boy who loves to eat. Fruits are his favorite food, bananas in particular. So are vegetables, especially carrots and tomatoes. Also cucumbers. Who eats cucumbers? Today he ate a raw onion, then he decided he didn’t like it and threw it in his “soup”. The soup he was eating was actually not soup at all, it was meat stock left from me trying to make “fasolya”. After his preferences for fruits and vegetables comes lentils, eggs, chickpeas, and oats. Of course he likes bread, rice, and pasta. He is yet to taste chips or chocolate. His appetite is similar to a man’s but his physical activity allows him to stay within the healthy range.
Excuse my motherly pride, but as a mother you know this doesn’t come easily at all. Being a mother is the one thing I am so proud of. In evaluation of my performance as a mother though, what would I give myself for the thousand days of life? A 9? 10? Probably an 8. Even as a dietician I feel there’s a lot to learn. I wish I would have given him more calcium rich foods. I also wish I gave him fish much more often. I also wish I gave him more olive oil and probably a bit more whole grains. But, it’s a learning process. The learning slope is steep as a mom.
As my thousand days come to a close, I thought I’d feel myself missing the responsibility. The feeling of being responsible for his health and well being. Boy oh boy was I wrong. As the thousand days come to a close, I feel more responsibility. I am stepping into dangerous territory. A territory I have no control over. As a dietician I knew most of what I needed to know about his feeding patterns, and I learned as I went by. Now, I feel as lost as I was the first day he was born.
I remember when Karim was born and I was glued to google. I remember looking up “how long should a newborn breastfeed for” and I remember looking up “how long does a “normal” newborn sleep for”. As I am over the feeding issues and sleep issues, I find myself looking up “when is the right time to potty train” and “how to make a toddler listen to you” and “alternatives to saying no”. I find myself feeling more fear. I catch myself wondering: Is my irritation exaggerated? Is his behavior normal? Why am I doing everything wrong? What is right? Who do I go to for help? Is it because I need to spend more time with him? Or less time? Does he need more social interaction or physical activity? Is this because I have been dealing with things wrong all along? Or is this just normal and sprouting out of nowhere? And again what am I doing wrong?
I would take all the sleepless nights, all the food strikes, and all the endless breastfeeding, over a day of Nos. Karim you had fun? No. Karim you wanna go home? No. Karim you want to stay? No. Does Karim ever get dressed? No. Does he ever wear socks in the winter? No. Does he ever pee or poop in the toilet? No. But does he want to poop or pee in his diaper either? No. My thousand days of life are over, the thousand days that dictate his health and well being. However, a new thousand days are coming my way, and I bet it’s gonna be one hell of a ride. To all the moms of older children and the second moms. I need your advice. To my son, I wish you a very happy birthday. I hope this year you keep learning and experimenting and having a blast as you have been. I also hope you start giving me signs on how is the right way to do this. And I hope when the second one thousand days come to an end, that I’ll be able to evaluate my performance again, and give myself a passing grade. Because so far, it’s a 1 out of 10. The 1 is for the effort.
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**I found this post about travelling with a toddler saved on my laptop. I wrote it during my flight 2 weeks ago. Figured I’d share it with other moms for support #teamterribletwos
Almost every week I find a new blog post by a mommy blogger on tips on how to travel with a baby. Or tips on how to travel with a toddler. I’ve traveled with Karim as a baby several times. In retrospect most trips were okay because I used to baby wear him, he would breastfeed, and sleep. I used to fly emirates and they have a great baby bassinet seat that made all the difference. Other trips were bad, really bad. Overall they used to be okay. But he’s not a baby anymore now is he?
Travelling with a toddler is a whole new ball game. I’ve been dreading the flight from Dubai to Beirut. Dreading it so badly, I made an agreement with my friend Jana to travel with her and her one year old together to Beirut. You know. Less awkwardness when your child is crying hysterically and you have a friend next to you who sort of tries to calm you both down.
Our awesome plan didn’t work. Husbands booked the tickets and it got complicated. So we traveled separately. Unfortunately Karim actually got a cold the night before. Which reminds me that with children, parents should always opt for the flexible ticket option, where you can change your flight if need be. To make the long story short: The trip. Was. Hell. You can stop reading now. If you want to hear about my misery, be my guest.
I swear there must’ve been 10 children on the flight, the only one crying was mine. All eyes were on me. The pressure is unbearable. People look at you as if you’re doing it on purpose. Then they ask you all sorts of questions. “Shu beh?” “Why is he crying?” Then they come up with all sorts of assumptions “barke ji3an” “barke na3sen. As if I didn’t think of all these options already. They even try to soothe your baby or tell him to shush! All the strangers trying to talk to him and touch him made things even worse. He missed his nap time because of how upset he was and made things worse than they already were! In between sobs he would say “Plane”. No, not just stating the word, but screaming it. “Plaaaaaaneeeee”. He was upset because he was seeing the planes through the window when we were in the airport. He could no longer see the plane while he was IN the plane. I tried to explain this very simple fact. But, well. You know.
Ipad? Didn’t work. Iphone? Didn’t work? Breastfeeding? Didn’t work. Toys? Didn’t work. Tom and Jerry? Didn’t work. Even the damn remote didn’t work. Last flight from Beirut to Dubai we went on emirates and for 4 whole hours he was just playing with the remote. I guess MEA remotes are no fun.
I type this as he FINALLLY went down for a nap. Situations like these make me question my parenting style. Maybe I’m too easy on him. Maybe I’m not giving him enough attention and he’s acting out. Maybe my son is the only child in the whole world that does this. I must have ruined him. Thoughts of being judged by others. Honestly though, anyone who has ever traveled with a child would understand.
My one tip would be: there is nothing you can do about travelling with a toddler, expect the worst! If you want more practical tips, you can fake fainting and have someone else take care of your child. You can wear all black and tell them someone passed away in your family, that’s why you’re both upset and that’s why you just can’t take on any more. You can start crying too, it might work. Maybe your child will get confused and stop. You can fake death all together. You can send them before you on one of those services. I forgot what it’s called. Well, what else? Let me see. I don’t know. I’d go as far as saying don’t travel with your children until their 18 and legal enough to have a glass of wine with you.
To follow up on the story. As the plane was landing he completely calmed down. Not only did he calm down, but no longer wanted to leave. Why? Because he could see the other planes in the airport now that he was on the ground again. He started to wave to people and tell them bye. One by one. One by one they told him “halla2 ri2et??”. We left the plane and he started running through the airport. He was so excited. Until we reached passport control. He pooped while waiting at passport control. I don’t want to make it too visual, but he leaked all over the floor! We had to change for him and wash for him at the Lebanese airport. Which is not all that equipped. Once we got out of the airport, everything was beyond splendid. He was a completely different baby. Try to explain to your family that he gave you a hard time while he just angelically smiles and laughs with them.
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I see you. As creepy as it sounds. I see you struggling to put your baby into the car, and I see the dread in your eyes for the trip to come. You wonder if all babies cry so much, you wonder if you should stop the car. You also wonder for a second if maybe you letting your baby cry in the car seat is a good thing, maybe your baby will learn to stop. In the same second you wonder if your baby will choke from the tears.
Your baby won’t. Your baby will eventually love car drives. Your baby will eventually sing with you on the way to nursery or school. Car drives will be pleasant. Even in the car seat.
You are probably so worried about your baby’s feeding habits. Be it breastfeeding or formula feeding. Is it too much or too little. If your baby is within the normal range on the charts, don’t worry and keep doing what you’re doing. If they are not, seek help, don’t wonder too much. I want to reassure you though, one day your baby will tell you “I am full” “I am done” and “I want more” and you won’t have to worry one bit.
More likely than not, you are worried about your baby’s sleeping habits. Your baby either breastfeeds to sleep, takes a bottle to sleep, takes a pacifier to sleep, or gets rocked to sung to and danced with to sleep. You wonder if you are ruining his sleep for life.
Don’t worry, I just put my 2 year old to sleep by laughing himself to sleep after reading a book. He told me “mommy hug, I want to sleep”. The same boy that has breastfed to sleep, then cried to sleep, then listened to hours on end of Twinkle Twinkle to sleep. The same boy who acted as if car trips were torture. The same boy who drove me nuts doubting myself every day. I have been you. Hopefully in a few months you’d write a letter to the new moms telling them there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
<3 Mirna
Speaking of car seats, my friend Chrys wrote a fantastic blog post about car seat safety
]]>For a recorded 1 hour webinar where I discussed picky eating with moms, you can click on this link.
Ok seriously, my son, all of a sudden has become a super picky eater. He’s not eating any of the food he used to eat before, and on top of it he’s not breastfeeding either. Just in time for Mother’s Day to make me realize that I’m simply doing things wrong.
Please help, what should I do?
Wait, don’t tell me. I know exactly what to do. I know what to do ofcourse because I have googled the hell out of picky eaters and read a whole book cover to cover on how to best tackle this crisis
Now I have a few options. Minimize distractions as per Mayoclinic recommendation and stick to a very particular schedule as per Baby Center recommendation. I even have a schedule on how to introduce the same food 10 or 15 times over and over again for him to accept it. And on top of it I have 5 reasons why he’s become a picky eater, thanks to Webmd. I think he might be having an emotional reaction! I’ve got it all down.
I’ll tell you my plan. Are you ready?
Nothing. My plan is to do nothing.
I have 4 real life reasons to why I’m not going to do a single thing. Sorry Google
I have stressed in vain. As a new mom, I have stressed over everything. And nothing. Is he cold? Is he hot? Is he breathing right? When will the umbilical cord heal? Omg I touched it with water, it’s never gonna heal. For God’s sake, for 3 weeks I was playing peekaboo with the umbilical cord every few hours.
Guess what? 30 google images of “normal umbilical cord” and 10 days later, the umbilical cord turned out just fine.
That’s not to mention. Is the colostrum enough? Is he latching right? Is he gaining enough? Is 60 ml of pumped milk enough for the 7th days of breastfeeding? Guess what. All the readings, all the stress, it didn’t matter. I cried my eyes out thinking my baby is not getting enough and when I went to the doctor at 10 days, my son had gained 400 grams above his birthweight! The doctor high fived me, and off we went. Well needed sleep time wasted on pointless stress and research.
Previous Scenario
8 months and 3 days postpartum: He’s always hungry. I should make the solid portion bigger.
8 months and 5 days postpartum: He’s decreased his breastfeeding frequency, I should decrease his solid intake.
And, it’s a rat race.
Or how about, trying to get a baby who doesn’t like to sleep to sleep. And double guessing your sleep routine 3 times a minute!
I should move that last nap backward so he can be down by 7.
Nap moved ill 4:30 instead of 5.
Come 6:30 my son has been up for a longer interval than he’s used to, he gets overstimulated and NOTHING can get him to sleep.
Mhm, the baby whisperer? The contended baby? The baby sleep site? Yes, I’ve tried them all. I also tried to trouble shoot each and analyze why none of them have worked and why my baby is still not sleeping like the rest of the kids. Once I convinced myself that I have done it all wrong, and shoulda tried cry it out, the boy decided to sleep through the night. I don’t know what worked.
No offense to any particular website. Let’s do an exercise Google “Green baby poop”. Go ahead. Do it. Can’t be bothered? Fine, you will get a few of the following.
Baby Center: “If your baby is exclusively breastfed, her poop will be yellow or slightly green and have a mushy or creamy consistency.”
Another Baby Center link: “Green poos are usually a sign that your baby isn’t feeding well, regardless of whether or not he’s gaining weight”
WebMD: “ It’s rare that color changes signal a digestive problem. Usually, color changes just mean that there is more or less of the yellow/green/brown/orange pigments that are picked up along the way.”
Incredible infant: “Lime green poo is a sign that your baby is snacking too much on the sweet foremilk. Try keeping her on one breast longer, so she pulls out the thicker, richer hindmilk”.
In the same post, there is some other shade of green (I know your mind went there)“An evergreen baby poop color is the result of extra iron floating through your baby’s system. It’s usually also accompanied by thick constipated stools.”
Well, thank you Internet. After months of going back and forth between thinking my baby poop is normal, and experimenting with hindmilk foremilk imbalance, turns out my boy has cow’s milk allergy. However, the reroute was fun.
It’s not that the websites are wrong, it’s just that no resource can give you a correct answer given such little information.
In the words of Tracy Hogg in Baby Whisperer ”Once you think you’ve got it… everything changes”. So, this is a phase, and it will change very very soon. Just like all the other phases, just like the endless growth spurts, the lovely nursing strikes, the distracted feedings, the sleeping nights, and the non-sleeping nights.
So for now, I’m gonna put my feet up and go on with my life normally because by the time you’re reading this post my son will probably be eating just fine back again. He’s probably just teething, or tired, continuing playing mind games with mom or just exercising toddler rebellion.
Happy Mother’s Day beautiful mommies all over the world We’re in it together – Confessions of a recovering TWSD patient
Did I say put my feet up? Yeah right!
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I remember the day I delivered. A breezy perfect sunny December day in Lebanon. Everything after for the next few weeks is a blur. I was told I need to have a c-section, I had horrible cracked nipples, Karim would cry (literally) non stop, he wouldn’t sleep for the life of me. We would carry him from a corner to the other from one hand to the other until he stopped crying so he would sleep for 20 mins only to wake up and repeat. I remember realizing there’s only so much your mom can do, this is your responsibility and you chose it .
I remember hating breastfeeding. I remember night feeding when the world is as leep. I remember having 0 positive emotion. Most of all, I remember feeling lonely. Feeling like this isn’t for me. Feeling maybe I rushed it.
I remember finally diagnosing him with cmpa at 2 months, I remember his first smile, and the rest is history.
I remember thinking I’d never forget it. I remember thinking I won’t breastfeed for another day, how will I breastfed for 2 years as I hoped. Here I am, almost 6 years after it, remembering simply to tell you the story. I remember it every time I see a new mom or patient in the clinic and I tell them “I thought I’d never forget but I seriously did” and look beyond those first days, imagine a healthy 2 year old. Here I am, after breastfeeding for 2 years, a period I miss and he completely forgot. I’ll never forget how something so painful became the most beautiful experience of my life. One of the things I am super proud of.
Since then we’ve had many birthdays and oh so many laughs, horrible incidents, and a beautiful life together. I’ve doubted if I am a good mother a million and a half times, mostly when going through new phases like feeding and parenting. Seeing him happy today is the only re-assurance I need to know I’ve done well. Really well.
On this day, like every birthday, I wish the world gives this boy the happiness of the world. I hope it gives him success in any way he defines success. I hope life is gentle. I am grateful to be a mother more than anything in the world.
Thank you for listening to my story. Feel free to share with me yours if you’d like, I would love to share it.
More blogs written about Karim in my life:
Karim turns 2, my 2 year assessment
Motherhood crisis with Karim
Traveling nightmare with Karim
To the mother with the crying baby in the car seat
8 things that happened post weaning
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لو رأتني نفسي ذات ال 20 عاماً وانا في ال30 من عمري، ستتفاجأ كثيراً.
لقد كنت مشوشة كثيراً، ضائعة كثيراً، كان راتبي الشهري ينتهي خلال 15 يوماً، كنت في علاقات سيئة، خلافات عائلية، وظائف سيئة. لقد شعرت بالندم لعدة سنوات جراء عدم دخولى الى كلية الطب و شعرت انني لن اجد الرضا في اختياري لوظيفتي. منذ ذاك الوقت اصبحت ام، لقد اعدت ابتكار نفسي(او تطورت الى نفسي التي هي انا الآن) وبشكل ما انتهى بي المطاف الى هنا مع اصرار كبير. بشكل ما اصبحت انساناً تثق به العائلات، انساناً قد منح الفرصة ان يكون سبباً في تغيير حياة الناس، انساناً يستيقظ مع هدف، رأيه يعتبر مهماً، ويملك مجموعة كبيرة داعمة من النساء اللواتي يحبهم كثيراً، لدي عائلة رائعة وانا صراحة سعيدة. انا في ضغط، لكن سعيدة، وراضية جداً. تحية لي ولكم وبذلك اريد مشاركتكم 13 شيئاً تعلمتهم في سنواتي ال 30، وانتم قولوا لي ما النقطة التي تملكون صلة بها، او ان كنتم تودون اضافة شيئاً الى القائمة.
1- على الفتاة ان تتعلم المنافسة، القتال والبروز كالشاب. في نهاية اليوم، انت مسؤولة عن نفسك، وليس هناك احد آخر مسؤول عنك. المجتمع يتغير وعلينا ان نربي فتياتنا بناء على ذلك.
2-الهروب من المشاكل بدلاً من مواجهتها دائماً يولد مشاكل اكثر.
3-السعادة ليست وجهة. بل انها الاشياء البسيطة التي نشتاق لها: قصة صغيرة قبل النوم، الضحك بسبب البيتزا، الغناء خلال جولة السيارة، الاجتماع باشخاص نحبهم.
4- الحب هو الحياة، حتى وان لم تكن انسان رومنسي.
5-العطاء والهدف هما السران الحقيقيان للسعادة.
6-اللطف افضل من المثالية. تعلمتها من اختي @baraaelsabbagh
7-انت تستحقين السعادة. وليس فقط اطفالك، زوجك واهلك.
8-الرجال والنساء اللطفاء موجودون. العالم ليس مكاناً وحيداً.
9-اكملي سيرك، حتى وان(خصوصا) كنت تشعرين بالاحباط، ستصلين.
10-يمكنك البدء بهواية ما، كممارسة التمارين، الرسم، او العزف على الكمان، حتى وان كنت في سن ال 28. بالنسبة لي، لقد اكتشفت ان ممارسة التمارين هو حقاً مدمن كما يقولون.
11-كلنا مررنا بالكثير من المشاكل في حياتنا، هذه المشاكل لا تحدد من نحن ولا تعتبر اعذار لفشلنا. ما يحدد من نحن هو كيف نعالج انفسنا من هذه المشاكل، حتى لو كان ذلك عبر العلاج النفسي.
12- لا يمكنك مساعدة احداً لا يريد المساعدة، ان كنت محاطة بشخص كهذا، ضعي حدّاً له.
13- الحياة موجودة للاستمتاع بها. خذي وقتك للاستمتاع والمرح.
الكثير من الحب مني لكم.3>
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